Day 30.

I’ve been rubbish at posting recently so for that I apologise. Expect a new post shortly with a few updates.

Until then, hairdressing duties are required.

Don’t forget, you’re awesome. Ciao x

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Home.

Hello! I am home!

What a mental weekend. I have had such an amazing time and I’m actually sad to be back. This weekend was full of laughter, happiness, drinking, food and so many other words that I can’t think of!

For once, all my problems seemed irrelevant. I couldn’t be happier than I was there. Everything was okay. I have made memories that will last a lifetime. I just can’t express how amazing it was. I just felt so free and like nothing else mattered. I could be myself. I met some truly incredible people, saw some breathtaking sights and just thoroughly enjoyed myself! Even when dad was disappearing into the distance whilst I was sorting out a taxi!

I’m sad to be home but it is now back to reality. Though I do feel much more relaxed and have a new outlook on life. Also on the plus side, I have a date today. I wonder how that will go. I’m apprehensive yet I have good vibes. We’ve known each other for 3 years but haven’t seen each other recently. I always had a soft spot for him.

Stay safe, be happy, be you. Ciao x

Ps. I’m still loving the black and white

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Going away for a few days.

Tomorrow I fly to Holland for a few days. I’m excited. Mainly because I need this break, to get away from everything. It will be great.

This week has been filled with happiness. Fun times with friends who I couldn’t live without.

My soul is on the mend.

Sorry for the short post. I shall write you all a lovely long blog post when I return. Photos are of this week, I have a new obsession with black and white. Have a nice weekend and stay strong. Ciao x

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Day 15.

I don’t really know how today’s gone…

I had a productive morning gardening at Grandma’s and stuff. I did a bit of shopping mainly for a load of crap that I don’t need.

I spent the rest of the day in bed. Now I’m not so good. I’m sad. Angry. I don’t know.

It’s strange that I’m actually struggling to write today. I just can’t seem to get any words out. Not the words that I want anyway.

Everything’s turning upside down and I can’t stop it.

Meh.

 

Day 14 – Flu

Hey lovelies. I haven’t been posting much recently. I guess I haven’t had that much to say.

Today is day 14 which means that I have been in recovery for two weeks today. It’s been a bloody long two weeks! So what has happened in those two weeks? Well, I’ve had arguments, made mistakes, cried, laughed, drank, eaten, fallen over and I now have flu!

That’s not what I’m here to write about though. I’m here to talk about how this two weeks has affected me and how I’m doing today.

If you’ve read my blog from day 1 then you will know that two weeks ago I started taking Sertraline (Zoloft) for anxiety and depression. I was in a very bad way. I had my dose upped to 100mg and honestly, it has made such a difference. Today I’m able to actually enjoy myself. I don’t feel as anxious as I did. I feel better. There are so many things that I could be anxious about, but I’m not. I know that i still have a long way to go and a wide road ahead of me but to say that I have come this far in a week is pretty god damn amazing. I am sat here, feeling really rotten with Flu and I have a massive smile on my face still. I don’t know if I should say it, if it’s true or how long it will last but I feel happy.

For all of you reading this who are struggling or in a bad way. You can do this. I believe in you all. No matter how hard things get or how much you want to give up, keep on going. You will get there and when you do, it’s definitely worth it. You are amazing. Keep going.

Much love and thank you all for your kind words of support. Until tomorrow my darlings.

Day 9.

Today started off pretty well. We took little Lexi back to the vets for her check up and mentioned about her having some problems with her paw. She’s been crying the past couple of days and licking it loads. Turns out she’s broken her claw so they gave us some painkillers and antibiotics for her. Me and dad then went and got a McDonald’s breakfast which was well needed. We got our little squish home and I headed back to bed for a little bit, I was still exhausted after not much sleep. I woke up around 2pm and crawled out of bed to get some lunch and a drink. Ravioli and strawberry milkshake. I don’t know if I mentioned that our treadmill arrived yesterday so I decided to have an hour on it. I’d done about 15 minutes on it when I noticed that it had stopped raining so decided to take the opportunity to go the shop. I shoved me walking boots on and off I went. I’d got about a minute down the road when I ended up on the floor. The loop on my lace had got caught in the hook of my other boot and I went straight down. There was a really nice man at the bus stop that came to check if I was okay. I was shaken up but nodded and said I was fine. I was actually in a pain hahah. I plodded on to the shop and would assess the damage when I got home. One cut hand, one grazed hand, one grazed knee, one cut knee, aches and a sore shoulder. That’s what I get for trying to be active! I was going to go back on the treadmill when I got home but no chance of that now. I shall sit on the sofa with my duvet and feel sorry for myself hahah! Not much else has happened today really. I’m still feeling positive despite my painful and embarrassing incident. I just know that I will be more sore tomorrow. Honestly, don’t be clumsy, it never ends well.

Bye for now my lovelies x

 

Day 4.

This post is a bit late considering it’s actually day 5 but oh well.

I had a good day yesterday. I was shattered after the night before mind. I just chilled out on the sofa most of the day then went for a drive with the lads at like 5ish. We went up to a spot near Oxenhope which was absolutely lovely. Me and Mark made the decision to go out again so I got back and ready and we headed out. We ended up in the Royal where I danced for like 4 hours straight with Mark, Pete, Rob, Mark T, Walshy and a few others that I didn’t really know. Everyone kept asking me how I was doing it sober, my response was that I’m crackers enough to not need alcohol. Of course we ended up in K2 again where I did have one drink, purely because I had a craving for strawberry and lime cider hahah. It was nice but I only drank half and then binned the rest. I danced for another couple of hours and then it was home time. I was absolutely shattered but I had another good sober (pretty much) night. By this point I was feeling a little down, I was laid on the sofa watching The Real A&E until about half 5 when I decided to sleep. It was a good night and many laughs were had yet I still didn’t feel 100% happy. There was something missing. I’m not sure I will ever know what that is.
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