As I sit here in a park in Leeds, I feel this is a perfect time to update you all.
I have a job interview today. It’s time to get back to work. I am ready. Nervous but ready. Normally I would be absolutely terrified and thinking about bailing now but instead I calm and relaxed. I’m actually excited.
Bring it on.
I honestly have no idea what to name this post…it’s going to be a bit all over the place as per usual.
I feel a little detached today. I’m not entirely sure why. I just kind of feel like life is passing me by. I go through the days and don’t really do much any more. I have never felt so bored hahah.
I think I’m getting to the point where I want to be back at work. That’s something I never thought I would say. But yes. I want to work again. Maybe not full time 37+ hours a week like I used to, I just need something a few days a week and I will be happy. I’ll ease myself into it.
Kristian says he will help me look into some options when I see him on Thursday which is nice. It makes me feel very lucky that he’s willing to help.
On another note, I discovered today that one of my….well I thought he was a friend, has removed me on facebook and is no longer speaking to me. I really cannot figure out why. As Mark always says, have an open door policy. If someone wants to walk out of your life, leave the door open for them to leave. Someone I know always used to say “Lose one friend, gain another.” so here’s my fingers crossed that I find a couple of new friends soon that I can pour love into.
Overall, life is on the up. Minus being skint as per usual and needing to buy multiple things, I’m doing well. I feel like I can get back into writing again. I feel like I haven’t written this much in a while and it’s nice. It’s calming on the soul.
I’m kind of overwhelmed with memories this evening which is slightly comforting, if a little sad. Ah well. It’s the past. I’m looking to the present and the future now, no longer stuck in the past.
More in a few days. Love you all. Ciao x
7 days ago I said I would post an update. Did I? Of course I didn’t. You all know that I’m uselss at posting when I say that I will but I’ve been a busy girly.
Last weekend was a pretty crazy one. Friday meant a night out and of course the ‘wonderful’ K2. I actually had a great night. Then we went out on Sunday for bank holiday which was just as eventful but this time – no K2.
I put in a previous post about how I had a date and that went well. In fact, guess who’s now in a relationship? That’s right! I am! I’m a super happy lady at the minute which is such a nice change. I mean we made it official outside K2 but we’ll laugh back at that in the future. I’m looking at things more positively. This is proof that things do get better, it just takes some time. It’s day 37 of recovery and it’s felt like much longer. I’ve made it though. I’m actually at a point where I feel so good that I’m struggling to write. That’s why I haven’t really been posting because I’ve not had much to say. Isn’t it strange how when you’re down you can write and write and write but when you’re happy then you struggle. One day, I’ll rectify that.
Anyway, stuck for words now so I shall sign off.
Much love to everyone that’s been here for me and posting kind words, you’re all awesome. And always remember, no matter how impossible it feels, it does get better.
I’ve been rubbish at posting recently so for that I apologise. Expect a new post shortly with a few updates.
Until then, hairdressing duties are required.
Don’t forget, you’re awesome. Ciao x
Hello! I am home!
What a mental weekend. I have had such an amazing time and I’m actually sad to be back. This weekend was full of laughter, happiness, drinking, food and so many other words that I can’t think of!
For once, all my problems seemed irrelevant. I couldn’t be happier than I was there. Everything was okay. I have made memories that will last a lifetime. I just can’t express how amazing it was. I just felt so free and like nothing else mattered. I could be myself. I met some truly incredible people, saw some breathtaking sights and just thoroughly enjoyed myself! Even when dad was disappearing into the distance whilst I was sorting out a taxi!
I’m sad to be home but it is now back to reality. Though I do feel much more relaxed and have a new outlook on life. Also on the plus side, I have a date today. I wonder how that will go. I’m apprehensive yet I have good vibes. We’ve known each other for 3 years but haven’t seen each other recently. I always had a soft spot for him.
Stay safe, be happy, be you. Ciao x
Ps. I’m still loving the black and white
Tomorrow I fly to Holland for a few days. I’m excited. Mainly because I need this break, to get away from everything. It will be great.
This week has been filled with happiness. Fun times with friends who I couldn’t live without.
My soul is on the mend.
Sorry for the short post. I shall write you all a lovely long blog post when I return. Photos are of this week, I have a new obsession with black and white. Have a nice weekend and stay strong. Ciao x
I have been in recovery for 3 weeks.
I’m sat here drinking and laughing with friends and I feel amazing.
I am unstoppable.
Stay happy. You’re amazing. Ciao x
PS. I cut and coloured my hair all by myself
I don’t really know how today’s gone…
I had a productive morning gardening at Grandma’s and stuff. I did a bit of shopping mainly for a load of crap that I don’t need.
I spent the rest of the day in bed. Now I’m not so good. I’m sad. Angry. I don’t know.
It’s strange that I’m actually struggling to write today. I just can’t seem to get any words out. Not the words that I want anyway.
Everything’s turning upside down and I can’t stop it.
Hey lovelies. I haven’t been posting much recently. I guess I haven’t had that much to say.
Today is day 14 which means that I have been in recovery for two weeks today. It’s been a bloody long two weeks! So what has happened in those two weeks? Well, I’ve had arguments, made mistakes, cried, laughed, drank, eaten, fallen over and I now have flu!
That’s not what I’m here to write about though. I’m here to talk about how this two weeks has affected me and how I’m doing today.
If you’ve read my blog from day 1 then you will know that two weeks ago I started taking Sertraline (Zoloft) for anxiety and depression. I was in a very bad way. I had my dose upped to 100mg and honestly, it has made such a difference. Today I’m able to actually enjoy myself. I don’t feel as anxious as I did. I feel better. There are so many things that I could be anxious about, but I’m not. I know that i still have a long way to go and a wide road ahead of me but to say that I have come this far in a week is pretty god damn amazing. I am sat here, feeling really rotten with Flu and I have a massive smile on my face still. I don’t know if I should say it, if it’s true or how long it will last but I feel happy.
For all of you reading this who are struggling or in a bad way. You can do this. I believe in you all. No matter how hard things get or how much you want to give up, keep on going. You will get there and when you do, it’s definitely worth it. You are amazing. Keep going.
Much love and thank you all for your kind words of support. Until tomorrow my darlings.
Today started off pretty well. We took little Lexi back to the vets for her check up and mentioned about her having some problems with her paw. She’s been crying the past couple of days and licking it loads. Turns out she’s broken her claw so they gave us some painkillers and antibiotics for her. Me and dad then went and got a McDonald’s breakfast which was well needed. We got our little squish home and I headed back to bed for a little bit, I was still exhausted after not much sleep. I woke up around 2pm and crawled out of bed to get some lunch and a drink. Ravioli and strawberry milkshake. I don’t know if I mentioned that our treadmill arrived yesterday so I decided to have an hour on it. I’d done about 15 minutes on it when I noticed that it had stopped raining so decided to take the opportunity to go the shop. I shoved me walking boots on and off I went. I’d got about a minute down the road when I ended up on the floor. The loop on my lace had got caught in the hook of my other boot and I went straight down. There was a really nice man at the bus stop that came to check if I was okay. I was shaken up but nodded and said I was fine. I was actually in a pain hahah. I plodded on to the shop and would assess the damage when I got home. One cut hand, one grazed hand, one grazed knee, one cut knee, aches and a sore shoulder. That’s what I get for trying to be active! I was going to go back on the treadmill when I got home but no chance of that now. I shall sit on the sofa with my duvet and feel sorry for myself hahah! Not much else has happened today really. I’m still feeling positive despite my painful and embarrassing incident. I just know that I will be more sore tomorrow. Honestly, don’t be clumsy, it never ends well.
Bye for now my lovelies x